Fuck Myself Again

Though I love to joke and laugh,
Sometimes I want to turn them off.
And then I let in the clouds of doom,
Spreading in my head, I let them loom.

All the pain I inflict upon myself,
And then I cry out aloud for help.
Unknowingly, the pain that I have fed,
Nothing real, it’s all inside my head.

Thinking of things that aren't there,
Blinded to the beauty everywhere,
As the pain mounts inside my brain,
I choke as I fuck myself again.

The evils of the world stare at me,
I try to battle hopelessly.
A tunnel engulfed in dark,
At my misery the world seems to gawk.

Finally I try to sleep it out,
Try to clear up the clouds of doubt.
I wake up, completely sane,
I joke and laugh... till I fuck myself again.